Holiday Party Circuit


If you’re like me, you don’t get invited to too many parties. I don’t know why because I’m a fun person, have a good personality and sense of humor and I’m really cute. But like many writers, I don’t seem to fit in with conventional groups of people…and even at my ripe old age, I STILL haven’t found my tribe. And it’s really okay because that just means I have more time to read and write…but it does kind of suck when you hope to get invited to the Holiday Party Circuit.

The last few years, my husband and I attempted to rectify our lack-of-invite situation by having our own party. We invited everyone we knew and had great turnouts. Other than my father-in-law trying to kill my dog by overfeeding him grease from the meatballs from Maggiano’s, our Christmas parties have been a lot of fun. People compliment the evening, tell us what a great time they had, ask us during the year if we are going to have another party, etc. I am generally known as a good party planner and any party I’ve ever hosted has gone off without a hitch and lots of back patting and ass grabbing (okay…kidding on the ass grabbing…just checking to see if you were paying attention).

But this has not really helped us in the invitation department. People come to our party, have a good time, but other than two people who have routinely invited us to their’s…we don’t get any more invitations.

I don’t know if it’s a matter of out right rejection or if people just don’t think of us.

I’ve started wearing deodorant, brushing my teeth and I’ve stopped doing yoga out in the front yard in my Darth Vader costume. I’ve insisted that my Anime-obsessed daughter stop dressing as characters from Sailor Moon when she’s mowing the lawn…really trying to keep the freak show inside. I’ve replaced my husband’s New England Patriots flag that hangs on the flagpole outside of the house with one that has puppies, rainbows and unicorns on it. I’ve taken down the Deez Nuts for President sign in our front yard (we are in North Carolina, and Deez Nuts was polling well here for awhile). My dogs both wear muzzles now so when people walk by our house, they don’t bark at them. My husband still barks at people walking by but I’m still working on that.

So for those of you who get invited to a plethora of holiday parties during this time of year…what do you do?


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